Drunken Shepherd's Pie

This picture is totally unrelated to the following recipe, except for the fact that the recipe invites substitutions and you should use ingredients that you have on hand.  I had fresh farmer's market corn to use, and while it wasn't from Pike Market in Seattle, you should get the idea.  Farmer's market fresh produce is awesome to throw into a shepherd's pie.

This weekend my cousin and sister and I decided to sit down and watch the replay of the royal wedding because of several reasons, but I'll keep it simple and just say that we're girls and we like things with crowns, pretty dresses and events where cake is involved.  In addition to the requisite stockpile of hard cider, I discussed throwing together a shepherd's pie with my cousin, another devoted cook and food lover. 

We succeeded in the best kind of way.

INGREDIENTS:

FILLING:
1/2 pound bacon
4 ears of corn
1/2 of an onion
2 celery stalks
1 pound ground beef
1 can tomato sauce
1 1/2 cup red wine
1 can of peas and carrots
1/2 tsp. thyme
1/2 tsp. cumin
1/2 tsp. dried garlic
Salt and pepper to taste

TOPPING:
1 pound Yukon gold potatoes
1 stick butter
2/3 cup milk
1 tsp. seasoned salt
Pepper to taste
1/2 cup grated cheddar
1/3 cup grated Parmesan

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Wash and cut up the potatoes into 1-inch chunks.  Cover them with water and bring them to a boil, covered.  While they're cooking, get out your handy dandy cast iron skillet and cook the bacon until they're just crispy.  Rejoice, because we're going to use that bacon fat and everything is going to have a hint of bacon.  Set the bacon aside to cool.

Dice the onion and celery and carefully cut the corn off the cob.  You could always use canned, but I had 4 ears of fresh in my fridge and I think it had a lighter, sweeter flavor that really added a lot in the end.  Put the diced onion into the cast iron skillet with the bacon fat and cook until it's beyond translucent and starting to brown.  Add the celery and corn into the caramelly onion and season with a touch of salt and pepper.  Saute together for 5-10 minutes, until the celery takes on the same translucence as the onion.

In a large pot, brown the ground beef.  If you're looking to minimize the insane amount of calories that this dish probably has, you can drain some of the fat off.  We didn't, because we were drinking while we were cooking and wanted optimum calorie intake.  When the beef is browned, add the can of tomato sauce, the red wine, spices and seasonings.  Cook together for about 5 minutes, then add in the can of peas and carrots and the corn-celery-onion.  Toss in the crumbled bacon.  Stir it all together and let it hang out on low heat for a bit whilst you whip up them 'taters.

Drain the water from your fork tender potatoes and mash them up.  Cut the stick of butter into smallish chunks and stir it in with the milk, salt and pepper.  Whip as you will, either with a food mill (if you're feeling extra fancy) or a whisk (if you're feeling muscular) or an electric mixer (if you're feeling lazy and/or drunk). 

Dump the ground beef mixture into your big ol' casserole pan (a 9x13 might be a tight fit here, do you have anything bigger?  Go with that and save yourself the mess in your oven.)  Hopefully your potatoes have cooled a bit with that milk and aren't lava hot, because you're going to spoon the lot of them into a large Ziploc bag.  Just go with me on this.  It really is the easiest, cleanest possible way to get the potatoes on top of the meat.  Snip one of the corners of the bag off and pipe the mashed potatoes on top of the meat, covering the entire surface.  Sprinkle the Parmesan and cheddar over the potatoes and pop it in the oven at 350 for 20-25 minutes, or until the cheese is melty and the edge of the potatoes are starting to look golden brown.  Also, as a precaution against leakage (haha, ew) you'll want to put your casserole dish on top of a cookie sheet to catch any wayward drips.

Cool slightly so that it's not magma hot, serve and enjoy!  It's even better the second day.

Creamy Rice with Mushrooms and Asparagus

It's totally relaxing to come home from work after not having eaten all day, get in the kitchen and spend the time prepping a great meal.

Yes, if you're on some kind of energy-elevating drugs.  I, however, am not.  When I come home on days when I've worked through my lunch hour, I want food pronto.  That means that I don't want to spend a lot of time washing, chopping, preheating or parboiling things.  (Don't tell anyone, but sometimes I just make a grilled cheese and call it a day.)

Yesterday, I scrounged around my kitchen hungrily and grimly realized that I would be forced to do at least a little prep work, since I had some mushrooms and asparagus that were on the verge of turning.  They were calling me to use them.  I relented, and my "make it up as I go" recipe turned out to be a true success.  Don't you love it when that happens?

Creamy Rice with Mushrooms and Asparagus

Serves 2-4 as a main course, or 4-6 as a side dish

INGREDIENTS:

1 1/2 - 2 c. cooked rice (any kind of rice, brown, white, risotto, whatever.  I used basmati)
1 1/2 c. asparagus, chopped into 1 - 2 in. sized pieces
2 c. mushrooms, cleaned and quartered
1/4 c. diced onion
2 tbsp. butter
2 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
1/4 c. sherry (or a good, dry white wine would work here, too)
Salt and pepper

FOR THE CREAMY GOODNESS SAUCE:

2/3 c. cream
1 tbsp. butter
1/4 c. grated Parmesan
1/4 c. grated Monterey jack

DIRECTIONS:

Cook rice and set aside.  Fill a large saute pan with a couple inches of water and bring to a boil.  When it's at a rolling boil, put the asparagus pieces in and let them cook for 2 minutes.  No one likes mushy asparagus!  Drain the water and put the asparagus in with the rice.  In the same saute pan (that you've dried off) put 1 tbsp. of butter in to melt over medium high heat.  Toss in the diced onion and let it saute until it's goldenish and translucent.  Add the mushrooms, Worcestershire sauce, sherry, the other tbsp. of butter and the salt and pepper.  Stir it up reeeal good.  The mushrooms will get lovely and brown and the liquid will cook down a bit over about 10 to 15 minutes. 

Put the rice and asparagus in with the mushrooms and onions and give it a gentle toss.  In the pot that you used to cook the rice (I'm all about reusing pots to save dishes) put the cream and butter and let it heat up to a gentle simmer.  When tiny bubbles start to form around the edges of the pot, put in the Parmesan and jack cheese and stir it around.  Cook for about 5 minutes, until the cheese has melted into the cream.  Season with salt and pepper. 

Pour the creamy, cheesy sauce over the rice and vegetables and stir again to combine.  Top with some more Parmesan and serve!

Sticky Lemon Rolls from TheKitchn.com

I didn't used to like breakfast.  It was the only meal that you couldn't eat french fries at, and it involved getting up early and doing a lot of prep work when you were tired and cranky.  I like to think of breakfast as more of an acquired taste - like good wine or coffee, and let me just say that in the past few years, my taste for breakfast has definitely grown.  Now, it's something that I want to eat at any time of the day.  Breakfast burritos for dinner?  Yes please!

This past year I've become especially obsessed with breakfast pastries - quiches, breads, sticky buns and holiest of the Holy Grails, cinnamon rolls.  When I saw that TheKitchn.com had developed a recipe for a different kind of cinnamon roll (that is to say, one without cinnamon) I knew I had to give it a whirl.  Sticky lemon rolls with lemon cream cheese glaze?  Please.  Just shoot me now, because it isn't going to get any better than this.

Oh, hello there, lemons.  You're about to get so delicious.

Let's get those dough ingredients together and bust out that dough hook!  I love the dough hook.  I need to make more things that use it.

Because it's a yeast dough, you're going to have to cover it up and let it rise.  Shh, the dough is sleeping.

When it's doubled in size...

Ooh, yeah baby.  Sexy fluffy dough.

You're going to gently take it out and knead it a big.  Gently, though.  Why would you punch your dough?  That's so violent, and too much could make your finished rolls tough.  Just press it out into your big 'ol rectangle.  More like, suggest that the dough flatten out into the big 'ol rectangle.  That's it.  Suggest.

Then you're going to cover it all up in softened, but not melted, butter.  Melting would make it messy, and softened butter works juuust fine.

Buttery, flat-ish and rectangularly suggested dough.

You're going to spread some of that sweet and tasty filling on top of all that.  Or, if you're baking with your brilliant mother like I was, have her spread some of that sweet and tasty filling on top.  You can stand back and take poorly lit pictures of it and then do the dishes afterwards.

Roll it all up and get ready to cut your lemony jelly roll into equal pieces.  12 equal pieces, to be exact.  (This is baking, you should be exact.)

Place them gently into your baking pan.  Mmm, they smell yeasty and lemony already.

We put ours in the fridge overnight because we got a late start, and then Mom got up early and set them on the counter for an hour to come to room temperature and rise a bit before baking.

And then you bake them until they are golden brown and your house smells indescribably delicious.

But something is still missing here...

Oh yes.  Lemon cream cheese glaze, where have you been all my life?

Spread it on there reeeal good.

Then you can dish 'em up and hope that they'll last the morning, at least.

They're tangy and sweet and yeasty and lemony and tart and creamy and I'm drooling again just writing about this.

Or you should do the right thing and devour them while they are warm and the glaze is drippy and wonderful.  As I said, it's the right thing to do.

Sticky Lemon Rolls with Lemon Cream Cheese Glaze

Makes 12 large breakfast rolls

From http://www.thekitchn.com/ or go here to check it out in its original form!

Lemon Roll Dough

1 envelope (0.25 ounces, or 2 1/2 teaspoons) yeast

3/4 cup milk, warmed to about 100°F or warm but not hot on your wrist
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, very soft
1/4 cup white sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
4 1/2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
2 lemons, zested
2 eggs

Sticky Lemon Filling
1 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon freshly-ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon powdered ginger
2 lemons, zested and juiced *
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, very soft

Lemon Cream Cheese Glaze
4 ounces cream cheese, softened
Juice of 1 lemon
1 cup powdered sugar
1 lemon, zested

In the bowl of a stand mixer sprinkle the yeast over the warmed milk and let it sit for a couple minutes. With the mixer paddle, stir in the softened butter, sugar, vanilla, and one cup of the flour. Stir in the salt, nutmeg, and lemon zest. Stir in the eggs and enough of the remaining flour to make a soft yet sticky dough.

Switch to the dough hook and knead for about 5 minutes, or until the dough is elastic and pliable.
(If you do not have a stand mixer, stir together the ingredients by hand, then turn the soft dough out onto a lightly floured countertop. Knead the dough by hand (see this video for explicit instructions) for 5 to 7 minutes, or until the dough is smooth, pliable, and stretchy.)

Spray the top of the dough with vegetable oil, and turn the dough over so it is coated in oil. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and a towel and let the dough rise until nearly doubled - about an hour.
In a small bowl, mix the sugar with the nutmeg and ginger, then work in the lemon zest with the tips of your fingers until the sugar resembles wet, soft sand. Stir in the juice of 1 lemon. (Reserve the juice of the second lemon for the glaze.)

Lightly grease a 13x9 inch baking dish with baking spray or butter. On a floured surface pat the dough out into a large yet still thick rectangle — about 10x15 inches. Spread evenly with the softened butter, then pour and spread the lemon-sugar mixture over top. Roll the dough up tightly, starting from the top long end. Cut the long dough roll into 12 even rolls, and place them, cut side up, in the prepared baking dish.

Cover the rolls with a towel and let them rise for an hour or until puffy and nearly doubled. (You can also refrigerate the rolls at this point. Cover the pan tightly with plastic wrap, and place it in the refrigerator for up to 24 hours. When you are ready to bake the rolls, remove the pan from the fridge, and let them rise for an hour.)

Heat the oven to 350°F. Place the risen rolls in the oven and bake for 35 minutes or until a thermometer inserted into a center roll reads 190°F.

While the rolls are baking, prepare the glaze. In a small food processor (or with a mixer, or a sturdy whisk),
whip the cream cheese until light and fluffy. Add the lemon juice and blend until well combined. Add the powdered sugar and blend until smooth and creamy.

When the rolls are done, smear them with the cream cheese glaze, and sprinkle the zest of 1 additional lemon over top to garnish. Serve while warm.

National Pi Day Quiche

I don't know when or where it started, but yesterday (March 14) was National Pi Day.  HA!  Get it?  Because 3.14 is Pi?!  Ha.  Pi.

Anyway, maybe I fell in love with this "holiday" because I'm a geek.  Or, maybe because everyone was posting pie recipes in celebration.  Maybe it's a mix of both, because food geeks love pie.  (They say pie is the new cupcake, you know.)  Probably, though, none of it matters except for the fact that I used Pi Day as an excuse to make quiche for dinner.  You know, egg pie.  (That sounded vaguely dirty, but I'm trying to help explain myself.)  Additionally, my refrigerator is close to bare naked and I had a limited number of ingredients to work with.  Necessity breeds invention, though, and it was necessary that I have something tasty for dinner despite the profound lack of food in my house.

And so, National Pi Day Quiche was born.  A couple frankensteined quiche recipes were hastily stitched together to make something that I'm just as excited about today as I was yesterday.  (I brought leftovers for lunch!)  Bear in mind that this recipe was created to fit the ingredients that I had on hand, though it's simple enough to welcome changes and substitutions to please anyone.

NATIONAL PI DAY QUICHE

(Adapted primarily from this superb TastyKitchen.com recipe for Quiche Lorraine)

INGREDIENTS:

1 9-inch frozen pie crust (you don't need to defrost beforehand)

4 slices bacon

1/4 medium onion, chopped

1/2 cup fresh spinach

1 cup cheddar cheese, grated

3/4 cup heavy cream

1/4 cup sour cream

1/2 cup milk

4 eggs

1/4 tsp. nutmeg

Salt and pepper, to taste

1 - 2 tbsp. melted butter

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

Cook the bacon in a medium sized frying pan.  When it's brown and just starting to get crispy, place it on a paper towel to help absorb some of the grease, and let it cool.  Drain all but a tablespoon of the bacon fat from the pan, and toss in the chopped onions.  Saute for about 10 minutes, until they are translucent to brown in color.  Rinse and dry the spinach and add it to the onions.  Saute for another 8 to 10 minutes, or until the spinach has wilted.  Remove from heat.

In a mixing bowl, whisk together the cream, sour cream, milk and eggs until smooth and creamy-like.  Toss in the nutmeg and season with salt and pepper.

Chop or crumble the bacon and toss back into the spinach and onions, then dump the mixture into the frozen pie crust.  Add the cup of cheese and gently mix it all together.  Carefully pour the egg and cream mixture into the pie shell, evenly over the cheese and bacony spinachy bits.  Yeah, I made those words up.  Be careful not to overfill your pie crust, and protect your oven by putting the whole thing on top of a cookie sheet to catch any wayward spillage.  Put it in the oven and bake for 20 minutes at 450 degrees.

After 20 minutes, turn your oven down to 350 degrees.  Brush the top of the quiche with the melted butter and bake for another 15 minutes at 350.  When done, let stand and cool for 15 to 20 minutes so that the quiche sets.  Grab your fork and enjoy!

Grilled Flat Bread, Cholesterologist Style

The last time I was up in Portland, EM, her friend and I all went out to dinner for my birthday.  We ended up at a Spanish place called Toro Bravo, and it was one of the best meals I have ever had.  Of the several dishes that we ordered, there was one that stood out to me - a grilled flat bread with arugula salad and cheese on top.  It was so simple and elegant, but so delicious.  The bread was a bit charred and the dressing on the salad on top was deliciously tart, topped with the creamy saltiness of the cheese.  Smoky, sour and salty... Now maybe you understand why, after we landed back in L.A., I was having culinary dreams about this dish. 

Though I doubted I could properly replicate it, I fancied that I could get close enough to at least stop the flat bread from haunting me at night.  Have you ever been haunted by flat bread?  It's kind of creepy.

Is this recipe the perfection that I encountered in Portland?  No.  It was my first attempt to recreate, and there are definitely some things I will probably tweak next time I make it, but it's still a delicious snack that was a nice break from my go-to bites of cheese and crackers.

Grilled Flat Bread, Cholesterologist Style

Take a good handful of you choice of greens...

(Cholesterologist's Note:  I used a spring mix with some butter lettuce, but I would definitely use arugula because of it's spicier, peppery flavor.  I found my lettuce mix to be a bit too mild for something like this, but you can use pretty much any greens that you have on hand.)

 

You're only going to need a couple tablespoons of a nice, tart vinaigrette.  Again, you can use what you have on hand.  I really love this Champagne Caper dressing, though.

 

I splurged and got me some good cheese.  Get out that cheese grater and shave it on up.  (Not grate, shave.)  You can use any variation of hard cheeses with this.  Parmesan would also be really tasty.

 

Oh, hello there, whole wheat flat bread!  Ima grill you up in a minute here.  You know what else would work really well with this?  Naan, if you have access to it.  Something a bit softer and doughier than pita.

 

Go ahead and dress up that lettuce (or arugula) with your 2 tablespoons of dressing.  Maybe even less - you don't want to overdress your greens or they'll make your flat bread soggy.

 

I couldn't find my cheese grater to shave my super delicious aged white cheddar, so I just cut it really thin.  Definitely opt for your cheese grater's shaver, though, because you want it thin so it'll get a bit melty on top of the bread.

I literally threw this on the open flame of my stove.  You could stick it under the broiler for a couple minutes, but then you wouldn't get to play with fire.  I like to live dangerously, but not *too* dangerously.  I used tongs so I didn't burn myself.

 

When your bread is grilled to your liking, put the shaved cheese on top.  If the culinary gods are with you, your cheese will get a bit soft and kinda melty-like.  Then, top it with your dressed salad.

Seriously?  So easy.  So delicious.

 

Snack away, kids.

'I Heart You' Cookies

Over Christmas, there was an obscene overabundance of cookie dough that had been created in preparation for an obscene overabundance of Christmas cookies.  After some unforeseen circumstances and some plan changes, that left us all with several batches of dough that were relegated to the depths of my freezer, while my family tried, in vain, to consume the already baked goodies.  Shortly before Valentine's Day, EM's boyfriend reminded me that we had frozen dough to use, so I thawed it out and rolled it out, determined to make use of our aforementioned cookie surplus.  Conveniently, Valentine's Day was just around the corner, and what better way to celebrate than by making heart cookies?  

Show your loved ones how much you care with a cookie that practically shouts, I heart you!



Unless your loved ones are a bit squeamish, because I'm told that not everyone appreciates what I like to call "culinary gore."





If that's the case, might I suggest something a little more traditional?

Basic Sugar Cookies from Martha Stewart. What can I say?  The woman knows her cookies!

 

Makes roughly 32, depending on how big you like your cookies!

 

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for rolling

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature

1 cup granulated sugar

1 large egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Assorted candies, sprinkles, or colored sugars, for decorating (that is, if you don't have the patience to wait for them to cool enough to ice or dip in chocolate, which can sometimes happen)

Directions

1.  In large bowl, whisk flour, baking powder, and salt. With an electric mixer, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in egg and vanilla. With mixer on low, gradually add flour mixture; beat until combined. Divide dough in half; flatten into disks. Wrap each in plastic; freeze until firm, at least 20 minutes, or place in a resealable plastic bag, and freeze up to 3 months (thaw in refrigerator overnight).


2.  Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line baking sheets with parchment. Remove one dough disk; let stand 5 to 10 minutes. Roll out 1/8 inch thick between two sheets of floured parchment, dusting dough with flour as needed. Cut shapes with cookie cutters. (Cholesterologist's Note:  Obviously, I didn't have anatomical heart cookie cutters because I have yet to find those, so I simply eyeballed my hearts and cut them out with a knife.  This also takes forever and leaves rough edges, so while I love these hearts, I would encourage you to find a cookie cutter, or use a very sharp knife and then once on the cookie sheet, smooth out the edges of the dough.  If you're hasty and hungry like me, they'll look quite rough like the ones above.)  Using a spatula, transfer to prepared baking sheets. (If dough gets soft, chill 10 minutes.) Reroll scraps; cut shapes. Repeat with remaining dough.

3.  Bake, rotating halfway through, until edges are golden, 10 to 18 minutes (depending on size). Cool completely on wire racks.

Royal Icing from Not So Humble Pie, one of my favorite bloggers ever, who also gives a great icing tutorial!  You should click on that link and go read it, because she's 110% amazing and will teach you how to make beautiful cookies relatively easily.

 

Makes enough for about 2 dozen cookies, depending on how you ice them.  I usually halve the recipe to start, and then make more as I need it, so that my icing doesn't get crusty.

 

Ingredients

1 pound powdered sugar

5 tablespoons meringue powder
1/3 cup plus one teaspoon water
few drops almond extract (optional.  Essentially you could use any other clear extract to flavor your icing, such as lemon or orange, but stay away from vanilla because it'll tint your icing brown!)

Directions

1.  Mix these together until smooth. It is going to be pretty thick, so add one additional teaspoon of water at a time. You want it to still be fairly thick to start, so go easy with the water. The icing should be smooth and fluid but still hold a firm peak. Meaning that if you pull a spoon out of the icing you have a nice stiff point left behind that doesn't sink back into the icing.

2.  If you go read the Humble tutorial, you'll learn how to make your own pastry bags to do icing and piping and all that good stuff, but since I was in a hurry, I did the unthinkable and made some quick and dirty Ziploc icing bags by spooning my icing in and cutting a teeny tiny hole in the bottom corner.  (Obviously, my icing needs practice, so don't judge me too harshly.)  Outline your cookie first, then let that dry.  Dilute your icing a few drops at a time for your flood icing, then fill in your cookie.  Let it all dry and enjoy!

If you're fancying something chocolatey, temper some good semi-sweet in a double boiler over the stove and simply dip your cookies in.  I let mine set on some wax paper for a couple hours before devouring almost entirely.

The Birth of Cholesterology

  I don't really know why food has always been so important to me. I was lucky enough to grow up in a house that observed the increasingly rare "family meal time," which, I suppose has always been at the heart of my growing food obsession.  My mother, a talented and brilliant woman, cooked healthy and simple food for her family, and while it might not be the food that shows up at a 4-star restaurant, it was always remarkably good.  I still believe that some of the simplest recipes and foods are the best, and often the most memorable.  Plus, there's always something about the way your mother cooks that you will never be able to replicate - I've been making her banana bread recipe for years and while mine will pass, hers will forever be pastry shop worthy.

Coming from a family (that includes extended family, too) that relishes the opportunity for culinary experimentation and home-cooking, food has always been more than a source of fuel.  It is how we express love and care for one another, and if you think that sounds like some kind of hippie, foodie nonsense, I challenge you to gauge your feelings when someone cooks for you.  It takes time, patience, and effort to make something for someone else, and even if it's as simple as a salad, I believe that there is a profound human connection present.  There is a great deal of love in gastronomy, or as I've bastardized it, cholesterology.

I created this blog to document my trials and tribulations in my own kitchen, catalog new and old family recipes, share beloved food havens and engage with my fellow cholesterologists.  Also, I needed a place to put all the food posts from my other blog, because I'm sure that crowd is getting sick of them by now.  So if you've stumbled here by mistake and are looking for The Average Broad, go ahead and bail now because this will all be about food and probably have very little to do with random dating mishaps and velociraptor car alarms.  If you've navigated here and fancy staying a piece, welcome, and remember - never get dressing on the side, always ask for extra cheese, and when in doubt, fry it and add a little salt.